Posted: Sept 18 2025
When you sense a change in a friend or loved one’s behaviour it can be hard to figure out what’s going on or what to do. Life gets busy, and sometimes we’re so caught up in our own lives that we forget to check in and see how our mates or loved ones are really doing.
Counsellor Lisa Bondarenko says we’re generally good at providing immediate support after a recent death, relationship breakdown, health issue or redundancy, but are often unaware depression and anxiety can surface many months or even years after a stressful event.
“Society has created a constructed image of how depression and anxiety look, but there is simply no one-size-fits-all when it comes to symptoms for these conditions and when they occur,” Lisa advises.
“While out of character behaviours including actions, decisions and choices that don’t align with a person’s normal personality can often be an indicator something is wrong, very often there are no stereotypical warning signs.”
“One of the most common things facing family and friends when it comes to supporting their loved ones suffering depression or anxiety is a fear of not knowing what it means and what they can do to help,” Lisa says.
“As a support person, you shouldn’t be afraid to have an open conversation with someone you are worried about. The worst thing you can do is ignore them and hope they get better,” she says.
Avoid saying:
Instead say:
Avoid saying:
- It’s all in your head
- Snap out of it / get over it
- Look on the bright side
- Be grateful for what you have
- Focus on the positives
Instead say:
- You’re not alone, it’s a common experience
- I might not understand but I’m here for you
- Let’s do something about it
- What do you need from me?
- Don’t be embarrassed
“It’s important you encourage your friend or family member in the first instance to make an appointment to see their GP and create a support network around them by engaging others.”
“It’s necessary for a support person to set their own boundaries and continue to have fun living their own life,” Lisa recommends. Take time for yourself and reach out to others to create a bigger support network, so you’re not carrying it all on your own.
“Looking after someone battling mental health can be equally as challenging as providing care to a loved one that requires physical help, support and assistance in daily living. Never underestimate the emotional strain this can have and make sure you are equally cared for.”
Common signs of anxiety and depression
- Doesn’t seem to care or has lost interest in life
- Expresses a bleak or negative attitude
- Frequently complains about feeling unwell
- Suffering insomnia or sleeping too much
- Significant changes to eating patterns
- Increase use of alcohol or addictive substances
If you or anyone you know needs support, contact:
Lifeline on 13 11 14 (24/7 Crisis Support) or for confidential one-to-one text with a trained Lifeline Crisis Supporter on 0477 13 11 14
Suicide Call Back Service on 1300 659 467 for 24-hour Australian counselling services
beyondblue on 1300 224 636 for 24-hour phone support, online chat, resources and apps
Kids Helpline on 1800 551 800 for free, confidential and 24/7 counselling for young people aged 5 to 18
PANDA helpline on 1300 726 306 Mon-Sat 9am-7.30pm, supporting new and expecting parents who are struggling with their mental health
Posted: Sept 18 2025
Disclaimer
The information contained here is of a general nature and does not take into account your personal medical situation. The information is not a substitute for independent professional medical advice and is not intended to diagnose, treat, cure or prevent any disease or used for therapeutic purposes. Should you require specific medical information, please seek advice from your healthcare practitioner. Health Partners does not accept any liability for any injury, loss or damage incurred by use of or reliance on the information provided.
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© Copyright Health Partners. 2025 All Rights Reserved.
Health Partners is committed to providing quality and affordable health care, and we value our members and our obligation to protect your privacy. As part of our responsibility in protecting your privacy, from time to time we review our policies to ensure we are meeting our obligations. We have recently made some updates to our Privacy Policy. Please click here to view the Health Partners Privacy Policy.